


Mirrors

by purplechaai



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Awkward Daryl, Drama & Romance, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplechaai/pseuds/purplechaai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t know what’s gonna happen to us. I’m scared just as much as you are, trust me. But for what it’s worth… I love you, okay? Nuttin’s gonna happen to you on my watch, you hear?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, lets back the f up for a moment and imagine a different season 4/zombie apocalypse where:  
> 1\. Rick and Daryl are paired  
> 2\. Still don't know where the others are  
> 3\. Rick loved Daryl before the apocalypse 
> 
> This story went from being inspired by Last Caress by The Misfits to being loosely based around Mirrors by Justin Timberlake. Clearly sometimes I suffer a mini identity crisis. Obviously the fic centers around season 4; everyone is separated except Rick is with Daryl, and both are in a relationship with each other. Depending on the response I receive, I'll update the fic, but it honestly does fine as a one shot. 
> 
> And with that said, please enjoy.

He slung the overbearing contraption over his shoulder while looking down at the debris that collected around his worn and tattered boots. He removed his left hand from the pocket, fiddling with his thumb while it got caught in the forever growing hole. When he finally managed to get it out, Daryl removed one of his only arrows from the dirtied bark and knelt down, just so he could get a closer look at the zombie flesh resting on the ground. A gurgle escaped from its cadaverous lips; Daryl moved his free hand ever so slightly and raised it to stroke whatever was left of its temple, but stopped when another gurgle, this time accompanied with movement, sounded through the air. Daryl shook his head and stood up, still watching the body and ignoring the lump growing in his throat. Maybe they all reminded him of Merle.

            Over time this should get easier, although it seems to get harder. At this point one would think desensitization would take over, but it hasn’t; with each passing day it gets more difficult to pull back the string and release an arrow, knowing that at some point these were _actual_ individuals who had lives before this apocalyptical mess.

            “Daryl. Daryl,” he heard his name but stood still, refusing to turn around. “Come on, there’s a house up the road.”

            “Nah, gimme a minute will ya?”

            “He’s gone, let’s just continue before you turn out like one of them, alright?”

            He nodded and began to walk, although he couldn’t feel his legs moving. The crunch of the earth beneath his feet proved to be a good distraction; he’d count the amount of times a leaf was crushed under the rubber and sigh a little if he heard a bone.

            “Almost there. Not much further.”

            Daryl didn’t say anything; he focused on the road ahead and hoped that the house would turn up sooner. He couldn’t place his finger on just what got under his skin this time around. It wasn’t just because he had to finish off another zombie. Maybe it was a bit of everything – constant moving, the others are lost, most likely dead, and resources were running low. Daryl did what he could to hold himself together, at least for the sake of Rick he did whatever he could to forget the endless reminder of those he’s lost.

            _Don’t look back._

After passing a few more trees and crawling through some bushes, the pair found themselves in a neighborhood that for the most part, looked chaotic at one point but now was abandoned. Rick spun his head in Daryl’s direction and nodded, while Daryl quickly shook himself out of his thoughts and nodded in return, gripping his crossbow a little tighter and pulling his jacket closer to his shoulders. Rick led the way to a white house seated at the end of the road, one that looked completely untouched for the most part but Daryl knew that was too good to be true.

            Rick walked up the wooden steps first, gripping his gun tightly at his side in case it had to be accessed for quick retrieval. The boards creaked with each step the pair took, and when they reached the final step before the door, a rummaging in the woods could be heard which led both to stop in their tracks. Another day, most likely another herd – nothing new, at least in Daryl’s eyes.

            The two quickly turned around and heard the movement once more; together they briskly carried themselves down the stairs, aimed their weapons at the flesh and fired. Daryl quickly walked to the body and pulled out the arrow, watching as Rick kept a close eye on the area to make sure no other walkers could be spotted. When things were clear and Rick finally gave the okay, the pair walked back up the stairs of the dilapidated building and quickly pushed the squeaky door opened.

            Old wood croaked beneath their feet as Daryl made his way into the kitchen and Rick strutted into the living room. Blinds hung off their hinges, while cushion covers were strewn about the room. Rick frowned and shook his head, but kept moving and focused on the task at hand that involved collecting as much supplies as possible. Daryl, on the other hand, rummaged about the cabinets and pulled out all of the cans and jars he could find, stuffed them into his bag and drifted his gaze to the window. He wondered where the others could possibly be: Maggie, Beth, Glenn, and why they have yet to cross paths. Did one of them ever find Judith? Is Carl being cared for? The questions burned in the back of his mind day after day, and he couldn’t help but hold onto the fact that there answers could go in many different directions, some of which are not that pleasant.

            “Daryl? Everything alright in here?”

            He jumped at the feel of Rick’s hand on his shoulder. He gave a gentle squeeze in hopes to calm the redneck down, but Daryl just nodded. “Yeah, things are fine. I’m goin’ upstairs, maybe try and find sumthin’ useful.”

            “Daryl… hey, what’s…”

            “Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he growled and made his way up the stairs. He knew Rick continued to watch, but he refused to turn around.

            At the end of the hallway, Daryl spotted a door ajar. He walked to it and pushed the wood open, holding the crossbow in front of his face for instant attack. When nothing appeared out of the close or corners, he put it down and walked over to the unmade bed that rested in the middle of the room. Clearly the master suite, he did a quick look around and gazed at the pictures that lined the mantel; a happy couple no older than 30, no children, but still looked incredibly happy in their wedding photo and other photographs that sat on the shelf. He hung his head and sat on the mattress, curling into himself and wiping away a stray tear that began to fall down his cheek.

            _Don’t look back._

Daryl drew his knees to his chest and faced the window that looked out into the nearby town. He felt homesick, and for what he didn’t even know because he didn’t have much of a home to begin with. The closest he’s ever come to having a family, they were ripped away from him except for one person who he has come close to losing too many times to count. He could feel the anxiety rushing through his veins; the long moments before tears form, where shoulders are hunched forward and deep breaths are took in an attempt to stop the tears from actually falling. The bed shifted and he could feel the presence of Rick behind him, probably getting ready to speak and wonder just what was up with his one and only redneck. Daryl could feel the deep, staggered breaths on his neck while Rick ran delicate fingers through his greasy, oily hair. Daryl wanted to move, wanted to turn around and show Rick that he at least acknowledged he was there, but he couldn’t. He was paralyzed by emotions that finally decided to take their toll; never once did Daryl want to give up, but at this point, he felt it was the only option they had.

            Rick inched closer and sat beside Daryl, Rick’s eyes shut while he sent kisses down his neck. Daryl still sat in the same position and let out a shaky breath, shivering a little at the touch. They haven’t been this close in a while, and Daryl knew that was a main stressor just as much as anything else. He grew used to the contact; it might have been different and something he never would have expected, but he and rick had a closeness the other group members failed to understand. When they did have a place to stay, like the prison, days were spent going on runs and then coming back to a lover. In a sense, Daryl felt at home, and at ease. The scenery was different and the world was basically at an end, but his was just beginning and unfortunately, with the way tables have turned in recent days, the end was nearing once again.

            It grew harder for Daryl to control the tears; recently he was able to control the outbursts of emotions he typically felt, but this time the developing anxiety was hard to keep in check.

            He feared losing Rick.

            _Don’t look back._

Daryl wrapped his arms tighter around his scrawny legs, burying his head deeper into his knees with each kiss Rick left along his spine. The lump in the back of his throat continued to grow, the one that formed way back in the woods, and by the time Rick had himself situated beside Daryl, the emotional outburst could no longer be controlled. A legitimate breakdown took place, a flood of tears crawling down his cheeks, leaving salty remnants on his tongue. He tried to keep quiet and did what he could so Rick had absolutely no idea what was going on, but Daryl failed miserably as his shoulders began to shake and the tears rushed down his face a little faster than before. He felt like a child; Dixons were taught to never express emotion, but who knows, maybe Daryl was different.

            “Daryl,” Rick whispered and finally opened his eyes; he frowned and ran a soft hand over his partner’s cheek, only causing Daryl to shake a bit more. “What… what happened? Is it sumthin’ you wanna talk about?”

            Daryl shook his head and buried himself a little deeper into his knees, doing what he could to hide the tears that Rick already noticed. He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but he knew the tears would only fall harder.

            “I’m…” Daryl shook his head, but kept it low so Rick couldn’t notice anymore tears. His voice trembled, but he spoke anyway. “I’m sorry. Ain’t nuttin’ to worry ‘bout.”

            “Yeah, yeah it is,” Rick moved closer and placed his fingers under Daryl’s chin, raising it although Daryl fought. “Come on. What’s goin’ on? Daryl, talk to me.”

            Daryl could sense the sincerity in Rick’s voice, and he felt almost ashamed for being a stubborn bastard and not just telling him back in the woods what’s been bugging him. Daryl never had a way with words and always struggled to form a cohesive thought so others could understand, and it’s why he didn’t understand what Rick saw in him. Maybe they were both too lonely to realize what they were doing.

            It felt right, though. The love has been there since day one a few years before in the King County Police Department. Daryl was just tired of losing people.

            Daryl sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  He fidgeted a little before shifting his body further onto the bed, resting his back against the headboard. Knees still drawn to his chest and shoulders quivering, he sighed and shook his head, then looked back up at Rick, green eyes filled with a longing Rick hasn’t seen since the outbreak began.

            “Don’t wanna lose you.” It came out barely above a whisper, and Daryl really didn’t want to repeat it, but he knew he had to. “I… hate this, ya know? I know, I know we all do but I just… don’t wanna risk losin’ another.”

            Rick nodded, and for a moment didn’t know what to say, which made Daryl nervous. Maybe he was too open; maybe he should have kept his mouth shut and wrote it on a piece of paper or something. He knew what happened to the rest of his family when they were too open – there was either a crack of a belt to the back or shouting matches. Never once did Daryl feel the need to have a deep and personal relationship with someone; life was easier picking up a mountain girl for the night and dropping her off somewhere the next morning. It wasn’t worth getting emotionally invested because _they_ weren’t worth it, and sure as hell didn’t want it.

            Rick was worth it, though. Rick was _love_ , a warmness Daryl never once experienced, not even from his parents. Maybe it was okay to open up and pour his heart out to someone who clearly had no objection. Maybe this time it was _worth_ the fear of losing him because this? This was love.

            Daryl kept his focus on Rick and still awaited his response. He could tell Rick was thinking, something he wasn’t too keen on doing at this, but he wanted this to work just as much as Daryl. Eventually Rick reached out and pulled Daryl into a tight embrace. Daryl rested his head on Rick’s shoulder, a tear still falling here and there, but he felt… okay. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, until Rick shifted a little to look at Daryl directly.

            “I’m not goin’ to make any promises I can’t keep. I’m done doin’ that, okay?” Rick sighed and shook his head, released his hands from Daryl’s waist and placed them on his cheeks. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen to us. I’m scared just as much as you are, trust me. But for what it’s worth… I love you, okay? Nuttin’s gonna happen to you on my watch, you hear?”

            Daryl nodded kept his body close to Rick’s, relaxing for the first time since they found the abandoned home. He should have responded and said ‘I love you’ back, but deep down he knew Rick understood.

            “Love you, too,” Daryl finally muttered and kissed Rick’s neck, nibbling on the skin while keeping himself close. He could feel himself growing more content, and although a part of him wished this could be their permanent home, he knew it wouldn’t happen. There was no doubt in the fact that the thought made him sad, even long for something that wasn’t likely to happen, but he shrugged it off and felt that as long as he kept his body pressed against Rick’s, nothing could come between them. He kept his head focused out the window, watching as a random walker gimped across the pavement. It caused him to grip onto Rick a little tighter, who in response held him closer and rested his head on top of Daryl’s. After a few more minutes passed, though, Rick sat up and pulled Daryl closer.

            “I have sumthin’ for you.”

            Confused, Daryl looked up and watched as Rick fiddled with his jacket pocket, until he managed to pull out a tiny box.

            “I… I don’t want this to seem, you know, corny or anything.” Rick nervously laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. He struggled to find the right words, at least ones that were appropriate for the situation. “I meant what I said before, and I want you to know that. I don’t know how long this… this thing is gonna go on for. But, when it’s over? I want us to be together, Daryl. I’ve wanted us to be together from the moment I first saw you.”

            Daryl cocked his head to the side and watched as Rick fiddled about in his jacket pocket, smiling when he found what he was looking for. The next few minutes seemed to have gone by in slow motion – a smile spread across Rick’s face as he slowly pulled the tiny box out of his pocket; he gripped it tightly and opened his eyes, looking up at Daryl. A shimmering cascade of light bounced off the white ceiling, a reflection made possible because of the shining sun. Daryl positioned his head downward and nearly let out a gasp when he noticed the tiny ring sitting in the box. With his agape, he tried to speak and form a cohesive sentence, but no words could be spoken, at least none strong enough to show his genuine surprise. But, he felt tears form at the back of his eyes once again when he realized they were in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and that unfortunately, there would probably be nothing close to any type of ceremony.

            “I shoulda done this in the beginning,” Daryl couldn’t help but smile a little when he noticed how nervous Rick was, “way back when I… I realized that we couldn’t change things. I wish this coulda been done in a different way, but…”

            Daryl wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck and pulled him into a tight embrace, pecking his lips and then resting his head in the crook of his neck. He sighed contently and looked back up at Rick.

            “I do.”

            “Wait, but I didn’t even…”

            “I do.” Daryl put his head back down nuzzled closer, “I think I’m ready to be a part of sumthin’, ya know? Be with you, two of us live as one, all that romance bullshit.”

            Rick laughed a little and held Daryl closer, took the ring out of the box and placed it on Daryl’s left hand. They both looked at the hand and laughed at the situation; it might have seemed a little corny, especially because Daryl was the furthest thing from the female specimen, but for once in his life he felt cared for, unthreatened, and could be who he wanted. He belonged to someone and no longer had anything to fear – maybe a few walkers, but he and Rick were in this together. Things finally began to come together, and Daryl had some peace of mind.

            “I love you, so much,” Rick muttered and pressed his lips against Daryl’s. “We’re gonna stay together, and that is the one thing I can promise you. We’re gonna see this out together.”

            Daryl finally allowed a small smile to creep upon his face, and unlocked his arms from around Rick’s neck, placing them around his waist. This time he initiated the physical contact they very much needed, something that distracted the two beings from what happened in the outside world. Daryl could hear a walker rumbling amongst the bushes, vocalizing its whereabouts but for the moment Daryl didn’t care. He needed this just as much as Rick. He moved his hands up from Rick’s waist and rested his palms against his spine, gently rubbing them up and down until he heard a quiet moan sound from Rick’s lips. Daryl nibbled on Rick’s neck, pulling Rick closer and laid both of their bodies on the aged cotton. The once nobody redneck has someone to call his own, and although this isn’t particularly his idea of the perfect setting, he’d take it, in a heartbeat, over the life he previously led.

            _Don’t look back._


End file.
